Ali Wong’s latest Netflix special, Single Lady, premiered on October 8, weaving a narrative that interlaces her love story with Bill Hader alongside her reflections on life after divorce. Following her separation from Justin Hakuta in 2022, Wong and Hader embarked on a brief romantic journey, officially acknowledging their relationship in April 2023. The couple has since made appearances at high-profile events like the Golden Globes and the Emmys, where Wong was honored for her role in Netflix’s Beef.
At the outset of her special, Wong candidly shares her astonishment over the public’s fascination with her divorce from Hakuta, with whom she has two children. “I didn’t anticipate the magnitude of my divorce making headlines,” she confesses. “The embarrassment and shame were overwhelming, yet I failed to recognize that the media was essentially broadcasting a Bat-Signal, alerting all eligible men that I was available. I’ve never experienced such fervent pursuit in my life.”
Among those intrigued was a suitor who had only crossed paths with Wong at a couple of dinner parties. After acquiring her number through a mutual acquaintance, he reached out to profess his feelings. “Hey, Ali. I just heard about your divorce, and I have to say…I’m excited,” Wong recounts Hader saying. “I’ve had a crush on you for ages, and I told my best friend years ago that you were my dream girl. I know this sounds absurd, but I want you to be my girlfriend.”
However, Wong had just signed up for a dating app the day before. “I was like, ‘I just paid $250. You seem really nice, but I need to get my money’s worth,’” she jokes.
“Shortly after that phone call, I set off for Europe,” Wong continues. “Upon arriving in London, I discovered that this man had sent me a bouquet of flowers.” Subsequently, increasingly extravagant floral displays greeted her in Amsterdam, Cologne, and Copenhagen. “I told my girlfriends, and they were like, ‘Oh my God, that’s so sweet. I’m so jealous,’” Wong recalls. Yet when she shared this with her male friends, they reacted skeptically, suggesting, “That dude sounds like a psychopath.” Wong laments the perception that romantic gestures are now seen as indicators of underlying issues in men.
This disparity in interpretation echoes a debate Hader previously highlighted from the writers’ room of his HBO series, Barry. In the first season, Hader’s character Barry attempts to impress his crush, Sally, by replacing her broken laptop. The male writers viewed the act as romantic, while their female counterparts found it excessive and off-putting. “They were like, ‘You sleep with a guy once, and he buys you a laptop? I’m out of here,’” Hader recounted.
As Ali Wong navigated her newfound singlehood, she explored various romantic encounters, including a brief fling with an unnamed “big, fancy movie director.” “For a long time, I was preoccupied with the physical aspect of dating,” she explains, “but finding a boyfriend who is talented, makes me laugh, and has a genuine connection with me seemed daunting.”
Eventually, Wong humorously reveals her preference for “a divorced dad,” quipping, “one woman’s trash is another woman’s trained trash.” (Hader, who shares three daughters with his ex-wife Maggie Carey, was linked to both Anna Kendrick and Rachel Bilson following their split in March 2018.)
“Divorce carries a negative connotation and can seem daunting,” she reflects, “but look at me as an example of how it can be done: I’m best friends with my ex-husband.” In March 2023, Wong noted that Hakuta still holds “ultimate veto power” over any jokes she makes about their family. “I desperately need him, and I need to honor him,” she remarked during her Golden Globes acceptance speech, crediting him for her ability to be a working mother.
As the special draws to a close, Wong introduces her “new boyfriend” to the audience at Los Angeles’s Wiltern Theater, saying, “I did fall in love again. Some of you might know who he is, and it just so happens to be the man who sent me all those flowers in Europe.”
Though Wong never explicitly names Hader during her performance—filmed during her sold-out 12-day Netflix Is a Joke Fest residency in May—she alluded to him during her closing-night set, prompting Hader to join her on stage, where he humorously remarked, “That was a very informative evening.”
Earlier in the show, Ali Wong humorously notes that her adventurous palate doesn’t align with some of the white men she dated, including one Midwesterner she dubbed Blake. “These white dudes from the Midwest get diarrhea every time they eat something other than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” she jokes, recalling how Blake clumsily poured tea into rice bowls during a visit to an authentic Chinese restaurant.
